Keynotes today from Telstra Enterprise and Government, Disney Internet Group and three parts of the Music-on-your-mobile supply chain (Optus, Sony BMG and Motorola). Telstra E&G’s moving their backend to a single converged IP backend, and also positioning themselves as Solution Providers. Which is of course annoying, because that’s where I’m trying to take CBIT…
Disney’s presentation in particular got me thinking about where I want to be. Their Toontown and upcoming Pirates Of The Carribena MMORPGs, along with all the cool stuff they’re doing on Japanese mobiles are very very cool. And of course, I want to be part of something very very cool. I’m sure my chance will come, but I still sometimes wish I wasn’t spending half my week slaving over a hot server, and the other half… I dunno… Doing stuff that comes up. I do still want to go into games programming, but at the same time, what I hear about the industry scares me off often. And I’m starting to get older than I’m comfortable being for my position in life. *sigh*
I came back to Sean and Julia’s place (where I’m staying in Sydney) and Julia immediately echoed my sentiments about how I should be out there doing cool stuff. I explained to her that I’m both comitted to CBIT now, and also that hopefully CBIT will develop nice and quickly into a platform from which I can do the cool stuff. But even as I type that, I’m not sure it’s the best answer. I guess my real fear (and it always has been) is the fear of squandered potential.
Chief amongst those worries is that people I trust to speak directly to me (including Julia and my Dad) are telling me that I should be doing more than I am… Then I start worrying that I’m letting my sense of loyalty and hatred of disappointing people keep me at CBIT when I am currently doing a job for which I am, although skilled, not brilliant. I’m also somewhat less than shining at the other things I have to concern myself with at CBIT (finding new clients, bookkeeping for the ISP part, etc).
Maybe I should focus on getting other staff trained up into my jobs, so I can move on? Admittedly, that’s already supposed to be part of my focus. I guess I’ll see how that part goes first, and see where I am from there. Maybe one of my projects will come good at the right moment, and I can retire to the bahamas. ^_^
On the other hand, if CBIT goes where I hope it does, then I’ll be jet-setting around the world providing my highly-demanded services to clients for fabulous amounts of money by the time I’m 30. Kind of what I hoped would happen with Bubblesworth, were I not so incompetent a businessman…
And on top of that, I wish I was doing something cool in Open Source. I was looking at a Linux-based NAS today (along with various pieces of long-haul wireless equipment, including 802.16 WiMAX, proprietry and meshing) and thinking “Why am I a consumer of this? Why aren’t I producing these?” I guess it’s not really Open Source, but unless Canonical hires me, the only people I know of paying for Open Source development on a non-bounty basis is CyberSource, and they’re a Red Hat shop. -_-